my blonde logic

My Container Store Obsession

My home improvement mission moves forward like a baby taking its first steps, sometimes we stand and sometimes we fall.  The destruction is proving to be quite a handful.  In my previous life as an Interior Designer I sanctioned such destruction on a regular basis.  This difference now is that I am doing the actual physical labor, it sucks!  

The only place I seem to find comfort during these physically draining times is in The Container Store.  It is my mecca, my happy place, and the bathroom is very clean.  I enjoy my interaction with all who work there, they are actually helpful.  I meander the rows of storage containers, contemplating the purchase of the gift wrap station.  It seems like a great idea in theory.  If I had more than one role of holiday paper that I have been using since my last trip to Costco, you can hardly notice the X-mas trees.  I want to contain, I want to organize, I want to make the world a more efficient place.
My biggest love are the elfa systems.  I have used them in every room and closet in the apartment.  While working with the elfa expert she pulls up my file on the computer.  I am actually embarrassed, this is the 4th system I have put in the kid's rooms.  I don't know what it is about those wire shelves that I find so fulfilling. Is it the flexibility of a contortionist, the strength of steel, what is it? It is just a fabulous solution to my indecisiveness. 

As my journey continues, life continues as well.  With every day the project continues I fall under the scrutiny of my clients, Thing 1 and Thing 2.  They walk in the room approve or disapprove of my progress.  I had some tough and crazy clients in my day, but this is ridiculous.  We've moved past the crying, the shouting, the demands.  If it wasn't for my oath of unconditional love, I would walk off the job. Thing 1's room is nearing completion, my fingers are on the mend.  I am preparing for the charge into Thing 2's room.  I did spend an entire afternoon scrubbing off marker, pen and crayon.  It is so wonderful that she can write her name so beautifully, maybe next time she can use paper. 

So I move on with my shower cap upon my blown out locks, Thing 2's swim goggles, and my face mask.  It may not be a pretty picture, it is the sacrifice I make for my children.  My only wish is that Thing 2 had bigger goggles, I still have the imprint on my forehead.

Home Improvements, 101

My new year's resolution was to get our apartment in order.  The kids are getting older, their needs are changing, and their room freaks me out.  Having two kids and a dog, our apartment takes on some serious wear and tear.  We renovated 8 years ago, now things are falling apart around me.

Not Zac isn't Mr. Fix It, nor does he want or attempt to be.  His answer is to have someone else do it.  The problem is that it is easier said than done.  Our job is too small for a contractor and too big for a handy man, it still has to get done.

I hit my breaking point, I want the job done.  I can do this.  In my grand design I have to remove the wallpaper and the chair rail from Thing 1's room.  I try my hand at the chair rail, how hard can it be?  The answer is a lot, my attempt results in a hole through the wall and the chair rail still in tact.  I move on to the wallpaper.  I start to pull it off, what's that fuzzy stuff left behind on the wall?  I go to Home Depot, I look for my helpful orange apron authority.  I find Mr. Nasty who informs me that they no longer carry any products related to wallpaper, seriously.  This isn't the smiley faced helper that wants to make my foray into home improvement a pleasurable and problem free experience.  After I recover from my defeat at the Depot, I plot on.

I go to the local paint store, they have what I need and assure me, no problem.  I'm empowered, ready to tackle the task at hand.  I get to work.  Within 5 minutes I realize that this sucks and is so not easy.  Note to self, ballet flats are definitely not the proper footwear for this activity.  Well, there is no turning back, I keep on trucking.  It takes me 3 hours to remove about 8 feet of wallpaper and quite a bit of the actual wall.  This is definitely not part of my grand plan. The special glue remover that is supposed to make this easy breezy, is also removing the out layer of the epidermis on my hands along with some of the glue.

I am standing in my son's room looking around at the disaster that I have created.  Did I just destroy the little boy's room that I spent my entire pregnancy designing?  Can I actually pull this off?  The kids are in for a surprise.  

Turns out I am the one that is surprised.  Thing 1 walks into his room and breaks down.  What did I do to his room?  He loved his wallpaper.  He loved his disaster room.  This is completely unexpected, crap.  I thought he would be so excited.  Now I am trying to bribe an 8 year old with my plans of grandeur.   After shedding his crocodile tears of guilt, he finally concedes that he will get over it.  It didn't hurt that he told Thing 2 that his room is going to be so way cooler than hers, great.  Thing 2 then freaks out that I am going to ruin her room next.  I must be missing something here.

To sum up my progress so far;  I have unsuccessfully removed the char rail molding, removed a mere 8 feet of wallpaper, removed at least 3 layers of sheet rock, and no longer have any extra epidermis on my fingers, and destroyed my child's beloved room.

Did I mention that not only can I not turn back, but I can't move forward.  Thing 2's day of destruction will have to wait until I have regenerated some skin on my fingers.

18 days for Winter Break, YES I Said 18!!!!

I would like to apologize for not counting my blessings.  Apparently the holidays are supposed to be filled with love and family and friends.  I don't have enough bars in this area, I missed the call that the magical fairies will be in charge this year.  I have reality service.

The first week of break was filled with holiday parties, cookie baking, latkes, candles, presents, family events, and play dates.  All of these activities take their toll.  One by one we all went down.  Thing 1 went first, then Thing 2.  It was when my overload lead to the flu, that was the end.

I knew it was coming, fast and furious.  I was too exhausted to fight the powerful flu.  As I crawled to the couch and planted myself there, Thing 1 and Thing 2 gathered around as if they were looking at the new exhibit at the zoo.  We have never seen this before, what do we do?  Thing 2 brings me a blanket, pillow and stuffed animal.  I spend the day drifting in and out of consciousness.  Suddenly, during my dazed state, Thing 2 puts a thermometer in my mouth.  As this is a very sweet and nurturing gesture, I suddenly realize that she has put the anal thermometer in my mouth.  I am awake and freaking out, I know where it has been.  Thing 2 grabs the thermometer starts crying and drops it on the floor.  Of course it breaks, hopefully the mercury will not affect my performance on Broadway.
If I were Lindsay Lohan I would have been sent away for exhaustion and pampered at some spa.  Instead I get to lie on the sofa and have an anal thermometer in my mouth.

We venture to Florida for the last week of "vacation".  I end 2008 with my final meal at the Grand Luxe, the fancy version of the Cheesecake Factory, in the MALL.  Is this really how I will say goodbye to 2008 next to the oxygen deprived, yes it is. 

Our stay in Florida is very predictable.  Not Zac has to go to the Mall every moment he can, only to be side tracked by the opportunity to visit the new Super Target.  Final answer, Super Target isn't so fabulous.  As with anything there is a level of routine, the kids get popcorn that's too salty, Not Zac looks at the C9 shirts and I check out the new designer for Target bags.  It is relatively exciting for city folk who don't get to do this very often. 

We spend hours at the pool, eat frozen yogurt religiously, visit the local Hibachi restaurant, and the kids don't seem to need sleep.  Oh, all good things must come to an end.

We begin our journey back to the Big Apple.  We board the brand spanking new Jet Blue airplane.  I no longer travel with DVD players and movies just headsets.  We love jet blue, cartoon network can get us to New York without any whining.  We sit in rows 8 and 9.  The plane it ready to take off, our TV's don't work.  Not Zac and I begin to panic.  Out of all of the rows and all of the seats, ours falls into the 4 rows that do not have working TV's.  This can't happen, we don't have a back up plan.

Not Zac discovers 4 seats in the back, only 2 of them are together.  Thing 1 and Thing 2 are now sitting by themselves, next to an unsuspecting gentleman.  I am sitting in front of them and Not Zac is in a row on the other side by himself.  All is well, but I don't realize until later that Thing 2 has had 3 cans of Apple Juice.  Have I mentioned that Thing 1 and Thing 2 have a tendency to get a touch of motion sickness.  Suddenly the gentlemen taps me on the shoulder to alert me that Thing 2 is vomiting all over the place.  Ok, I can handle this.  I clean her up, settle her down and return to my seat.  Then I get another tap, Thing 2 has sneezed out a weeks worth of chlorine.  The gentlemen gives her a tissue.  I thank him profusely.  I settle back down, then suddenly I get the tap again.  Thing 2 is vomiting again.  Is this man a glutton for punishment?  I know I have a middle seat but does he really want to sit next to my monster that is spewing form her orifices? 

We finally arrive back in the cloudy dreary NYC, YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!  It's good to be home.  The first day back to school was awesome!!!!!