depressing chick flick, thanks hollywood

I finally am going to see a movie that has adults no talking animals, no amazing tweens, no pixar, and no booster seats.  Going to the movies during the day is the ultimate treat.  I first discovered its magic when Thing 1 was an infant.  Until then I had never gone to a movie by myself and very rarely had the opportunity or desire to go to the cinema during daylight hours (unless it was a weekend).  My first experience was life changing.  I sat where I wanted to sit, drank what I wanted to drink (no sprite compromise instead of diet coke), ate my own popcorn and I got the aisle seat without issue.  It was amazing, exhilarating and liberating. 
I get so excited when the daytime invite/opportunity pops up.  It is the only time that I can go and see a chick flick.  I have a date to meet my friend to see "he's just not that into you".  It gets ok reviews, it has a cast I want to watch, all things in check. 
Surprise!  This may be the most depressing movie ever.  First of all Scarlett Johanson is so can't put your finger on it sexy.  She's not gorgeous, she's not skinny, she's just sexy.  The kind of sexy that makes a white t-shirt and jeans look awesome.  Of course her character sleeps with the married man, thanks Hollywood. 
You have the pathetic single girl, who just doesn't get it.  We all have been her at one time or another in our lives.  Yes she does end up happy in the end, but she gets the crap beat out of her emotionally before that can happen.  It takes the guy on the other hand about 3 minutes of movie time, that seems about right.
There is the girl in the happy but not officially committed relationship.  They break up get back together and live happily ever after. 
So basically the girl who's life ends up completely miserable and screwed up is the married girl.  You feel bad for her from the get go.  While her world ends in divorce which is supposed to be okie dokie, bullshit. 
Why in everyone one of these relationships the woman has to go through unbelievable heartbreaking crap in order to be happy?  Why are women depicted as beings that can only find happiness after being beaten into the ground by the opposite sex?   Why isn't the book about understanding women a New York Times best seller?
I think Hollywood should make a movie where there wife wins the husband loses, doesn't mean they get divorced.  The girl blows off the guy, end of story.  Every guy that you ever dated still dreams about you.  Scarlett Johanson isn't the other woman, she is THE woman.  Women are happily married and they are adored by their husbands. Why is the wife never the HOT one?   Every box of chocolate has all of your favorites, no bad bites.
And the most important part of the movie THE MAN CRIES. 

I would like to thank the Academy for my fabulous film that made every woman feel great and was worth the $12.50.  I would also like to thank all of the real women out there, I hear ya sistas.  I am woman by Helen Redding plays as I leave the stage of the Kodak Theater.

Comments

[rachel]

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Cha Ching Queen
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[jess]

I haven't been to the movies in about a decade. Pretty pathetic. I enjoyed reading your post. I also like how you write about so many different topics. I look forward to reading more.

www.capececlan.blogspot.com

[Mom]

I so understand this. Having experienced too many bad breakups, many of which you were a witness to, I applaude your version of the movie. You should put pen to paper and write the greatest love story of all time - The Woman Wins It All. I'll buy the first print.